It's Better Without

September 4th, 2010

Eleven-thirty am.

On a Saturday.


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And after a lot of consideration and thought, at three am EST this morning my brain simply and abruptly came to the conclusion of, "Well, you're a hell of a lot better off without that, aren't you? Not the greatest timing, but still. It's better."

This thought just kind of popped into my head in the midst of twelve million extremely indecisive thoughts, out of the blue. Nevertheless, it is my new mantra, to be repeated as often as needed. And it's working.

Before I came to this conclusion, however, I was attempting to partake in that pointless act known as sleeping. At just after two am I logged off my computer and said bye to Des, and then was lying there, trying to sleep. I couldn't. Then I was hungry, so I was lying there, eating crackers and not feeling very tired. And once I came to that conclusion, I felt better.

I fell asleep after that.

Seven hours later I finally woke up for good, after killing my alarm clock. And this has lead me to yet another conclusion, one I am adamant about, and one that I will carry through on. Because I don't give a damn about the person anymore, and honestly, thinking about them just makes me even more hellbent on making sure that this year is better than all the rest. I will make room for actually studying for tests and getting all my homework done and I'll have an epic NaNo plot with actual subplots and I'll finish all of these stupid oneshots and they won't suck anymore. And I'll start a multi-chapter fic that I'll actually get done.

And it'll all work out for the best.

This time, I am damn sure of it.

--Ave