Why Ave Should Not Be Allowed to Internet Shop

I sort of figured that now would be about the time I should start bumping the below post down on the list. Should.

So. It's basically half-past midnight on Saturday morning now and I do have a whole load of what I consider to be entertaining stories to ramble about on here. We'll just go over one right now.

I think I forgot to announce it on here, but as of last Thursday my dad finally decided that he had to let me order novels from Borders online because my local branch doesn't carry the obscure books on the Tudors I so love. He was kind enough to announce to me at ten-thirty, when I was going to bed (that's right; I've been attempting to go to sleep prior to midnight lately), that there was a Borders coupon and if I wanted anything I should get it then. I immediately grabbed my computer and compiled my little list of all the things I wanted, and finally everything was good except the credit card number, which I had to fill in on the next page.

It was then that my Internet decided to commit suicide.

This actually happens a lot. See, apparently it is bad to have six computers hooked up to the same router and thus said router sporadically decides that someone isn't getting Internet anymore--it's like roulette. The best part is, it's just as terrible if two people are on as it is if five are on. This is a source of constant irritation to yours truly.

The only way to guarantee Internet access is to plant yourself in the middle of the living room floor, because we have a wire running underneath the floor from the router to the living room for such occasions. After around thirty minutes, I had finally finished the simple process we call online shopping, and then went to bed.

With Borders, though, you can't just get things shipped: if you want anything within a reasonable amount of time you pay for it, and in Ave!world a reasonable amount of time is three hours. And they can't do that. So I resigned myself to just waiting for 3-8 days--which, we all know, Borders, means six days minimum--and then getting free shipping.

Every day for the following week I came home and the first thing I did was ask, "Did they come in?" This turned out to be a source of confusion for everyone save me, seeing as they didn't really care about my books. At all. Unfortunately, that's not a punishable offense.

Except for Thursday. For some reason this week was all scrambled up in my head, and Tuesday was definitely Wednesday, Wednesday was at least a Tuesday, if not a Monday, and Thursday was totally Friday--only, they weren't. The best part was Friday was a half-day, which for some reason translates in my mind as: You don't have to do any homework. This is bad. Because then I do nothing.

So. Finally, it was like eight, and someone walked up to me with a box. I had totally forgotten about my books that day, which was probably good. While I was busy having a spaz attack, my mother informed me that they'd been there all day, but I ignored her. Spaz attacks tend to disorient you.

There are many, many ways to open a box, and they're all effective. For the most part. For some reason my brain decided that randomly hacking, stabbing, and chopping at the box would get it open not only efficiently but also in a timely manner and with no mess involved. So I did just that.

It should be easy to predict that something would go wrong. I'll just use the explanation I gave everyone on Skype:

". . . Borders finally sent my books. And I was all, "LOOK IT'S A BOX THERE ARE BOOKS IN HERE I WANT THEM." So then I attempted to rip it open. This failed. Then I decided that maybe, just maybe, randomly stabbing/cutting it with scissors would make the box open up faster. Then they slipped and I whacked myself in the head, which deterred me for about four seconds before I went back to stabbing the box. BUT I OPENED IT AND THERE ARE BOOKS AND THIS IS GOOD."

So basically I maimed myself slightly while whacking/stabbing/chopping at a cardboard box with scissors, all because there were books inside and for some reason it instantaneously became the most important thing in the world that I got those books that second.

In the end I got the box open and the throbbing red mark on my forehead was totally worth it. My parents and siblings are now busy questioning my mental stability, but whatever.

Books.

Does this prove that I spend far too much time obsessing over books? Crap.

--Ave

Apparently Ave Really Does Have Some Sort of Mental Issue . . .

So I was reading old Hyperbole and a Half posts (if you do not know HaaH, Google it) and in one Allie talks about how she took this ADHD test once. She scored positive, but she happens to actually be ADHD.

I also scored positive and I'm the laziest person ever. This slightly worries me.

Maybe it's just because I always force my brain to stop procrastinating . . .

Anyways. Apparently I type too loudly and it's 11:20. So.

--Ave

My Foot Hurts~ (AKA, another beautiful post title 8D)

Today I did nothing and it was fun. 8D

Only now I'm staring really guiltily at my science textbook and thinking how I should study . . . The only good thing is test is Wednesday and I have tomorrow and Monday, since it's a day off, to catch up and all that.

So I was watching King Arthur tonight, and then my dog decided that I was hers and no one else was allowed to touch me or be near me in any way, shape, or form. This, while quite endearing and adorable, also became annoying, because some part of her mind went, "Hey! It'd be great if I marked my territory by snuggling Ave's foot and putting excessive force on it!" So she did.

This was slightly uncomfortable at first, but I dealt with it because of how adorable she looked. My foot got used to being a pillow, until she decided that absolutely all of her weight had to be focused on her neck, which was resting on my foot. By this time said foot was all, "Ave, this hurts. Make her stop!" in a whining voice like how you talk about your siblings, then I told the foot to shut up because the dog looked absolutely adorable being fiercely protective. Foot and I became increasingly uncomfortable, to the point where my eyes were watering and I was complaining roughly every thirty seconds about how much my foot hurt. Then, dog moved her head.

Foot had roughly point four seconds of freedom in which it exclaimed, "HELL YES. FREEEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" before dog put her head back down, snuggled very roughly, and left me to be miserable again.

Eventually we got to the point where I was like, "Screw her comfort. I'm MISERABLE." So then I oh-so-gently transplanted her head from my foot to the carpet, with love and kindness and all that. Then she just snuggled with the carpet and pretended I was never there. This made me feel so loved.

It was then I realized I couldn't feel my foot.

After about three minutes of holding one hand on my ankle and the other on my toes and twisting a bit, I had generally regained feeling. This was both good and bad, because while I could feel, it also meant I was in extensive pain, and then had to limp to my kitchen and get an ice pack.

Rest assured, I can now actually feel my foot.

We shall end that long, rambly, and utterly pointless story there.

--Ave

Originally, This Post Had a Point

Wednesday was an interesting day, to say the least.

First thing in the morning I took a math test. Math teacher likes to assign us part that we can do at home and use any resources and all that. So in the morning before classes started friends and I were all running around to find each other and checking answers and the like. It was actually sort of kind of fun, in a way, because we're all such idiots together it's hilarious, in a way. Me and ii had to go take the actual test after that, but whatever. It was easy.

Then I went to some more classes and yeah. Eventually, though, I had to go to Health, which I actually sort of like. Except for the fact that we're learning about the reproductive system.

I shall not go into details of the horrors I endured in the space of one five minutes video. No; I'd like to not scar my dear four readers, if possible, so we'll skip that description. Let's just say it was the most horrifying and/or terrifying thing I have ever seen in my entire life. That video should be a horror movie. Seriously. One word: Childbirth.

Sex is absolutely disgusting in every way, shape, and form. And that is all you need to know.

I had planned out this entire post on like, Thursday, and it was full of random-but-cool things that had occurred in the past few days. I have entirely forgotten each and every one of them. Epic fail.

Anyways. I think I shall go to bed now, 'cause it's 12:33 am. D:

BUT THERE'S A THREE DAY WEEKEND. YAY. 8D

With sleep-deprived!huggles,
--Ave

Gr.

Dear Whoever-the-Hell-just-redesigned-the-astrological-sign-system,

Hell no. I'm not a Virgo, I'm a Libra, dammit, a Libra.

--Ave, who is shunning you, mysterious person

ed, three minutes later--

http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011/01/13/no-your-zodiac-sign-hasnt-changed/

Olook I'm still a Libra. 8D G'Night.

--Ave

Ave is an Idiot in Every Imaginable Way, Shape, and Form

So.

I spent a lot of today doing nothing, watching a bit of Scrubs, doing like three math problems, and procrastinating. Oh, and then I discussed my feelings, wasted time on forums, and listened to music. Which means I did nothing.

Now it's ten-thirty and I'm staring at my list of assignments with a horrified look of complete and utter terror/misery on my face. This is because I have done essentially nothing and because tomorrow's Wednesday there's always a bunch of stuff to do.

Yay?

(This is, by the way, totally not a yay moment. The point is to emphasize how out of it I am. Just keep reading.)

So last night I went to bed at like, midnight. Now I'm probably going to do that again because I should do my stupid worksheet thing on the stupid reproductive system (I used to think boys got it easy. All you need to know is that now, I am laughing at them. Because being a boy sucks. IN YOUR FACE MALE POPULATION. :P) (That comment should be ignored. I'm fairly delirious.) and then I should study for science and then do Spanish homework which involves drawing a whole load of crappy pictures. I'm currently making a face of semi-despair that can not be seen because this is the Internet and I'm typing, but oh well.

And I almost forgot. Then I have to look over my math homework that's being graded and then study for my test tomorrow.

I am an utter fail at life.

Watch me go back to reading old Hyperbole and a Half's now. Currently I am mentally killing myself for my complete and total stupidity, but whatever.

--Ave

(Now it's 10:42 . . . I'm an idiot.)

The Rambles of a Sleep Deprived Ave

So.

The world is weird and strange and three million other adjectives that are synonyms for that. And it still befuddles me. But we covered that.

Technically it's just past midnight now, so I shall refer to now as though it is Saturday which it technically is even though it feels like a Friday.

Anyways. I'm going to yet another party tomorrow, so yeah. There goes most of my Saturday. And I'm sure I'll have fun and stuff, but most of the other half will probably be spent sleeping. Then all of a sudden it'll be Sunday and the weekend will be virtually over. This is how it goes.

I don't think this post has a point. It really doesn't. And I want to go to bed but I'm waiting for my YouTube Downloader to finish downloading and it's kinda hard to listen to Prayer of the Refugee nonstop sans Internet considering I have no MP3 player/iPod. Actually, I do. But it's MIA.

That's an insanely long story for another day.

--Ave, who is off to. . .  sleep . . .  write. . . be productive. . . listen to Prayer of the Refugee some more and maybe eventually go to sleep

Back to Whatever I Was Saying . . .

So. I remembered what I had wanted to talk about. I shall start the way I did before.

The world befuddles me.

Before I was attached to my computer. With my friends I was miserable. I never wrote or reviewed. And with all of my online friends I was so happy for no reason; I loved them, I was obsessed with the Internet.

But now everything is reversed.

With my new laptop I'm finding it easier than ever to detach myself from the Internet. From my supposed friends. It's weird because basically no one is on Skype anymore. Everything is basically abandoned because people are off doing whatever, and instead of worrying about this or wanting to spend more time online, I actually studied for science today and there's no upcoming test.

I was creeped out too.

I've always understood that the Internet would be a phase-thing that I'd get over--at least, before I became so close to everyone I understood that. Now it's weird because none of us seem to need each other anymore. At all. I keep having this weird urge to spontaneously stab a lot of people, and while this is sadly semi-normal, it's the people I keep wishing to stab that creeps me out.

Somewhere along the line I've become sick of them. And that scares me. Because we used to love each other and now we don't.

Lately I haven't seen a whole lot of Des, which sucks, but she has things she's doing. Theia's always there because she's Theia, and Storm usually is too, but they both lurk. Juliet's been missing more than usual lately. Thorn's usually there but kind of not because she ignores us, and Bianca has always just been doing multiple things at once and thus not really there a lot. Critic is always there and so is Kal, but it just doesn't feel right. Everything is off.

I do not like it off. Sure, I don't want everything to be totally insane, but I still miss things.

 I miss when we were carefree. I miss when nothing in the world mattered. I miss when school was easy and nothing involved effort or trying. I miss those days when all I did was forum because I had the time to forum. The days before I actually had to think about anything for school. The days before life was complicated. The days before every spare moment became about writing and working on writing and finishing stories.

I miss 2010 and forums and the insanity. I miss being a kid. But at the same time I'm so happy that I know so much more now, that this year is better than last year even if it is hard, and especially that I fall asleep at the end of the day knowing that I got something done. That doesn't stop the fact, though, that we're all growing up and splitting apart. It's kind of creepy, really. Everything's just gone.

--Ave, who feels . . . odd right now, to say the least

To List

The world befuddles me.

So. Today I was in Health with some of my friends--admittedly, they're not my best friends in the entire world whom I would do essentially anything for, but I know them fairly well and all that. And I started thinking about--what else?--friends.

I always think that I just kind of have my besties and that's it, and besides them I'm kind of a drifter. But I do know a good amount of people that I don't have the urge to kill on a daily basis, so yeah. Life is good.

Before I continue off on another note I figured I'd bother to list/explain my friends for once, for future reference. For the purposes of this blog they shall be numbered because I'm far too lazy to think of fake names and stick to them or if I do I'll start calling them those names to their faces. So.

i and I have known each other for essentially forever. We live in the same neighborhood, we've been friends since we were four. And, oddly enough, for some reason we've stuck together all these years through a whole load of crap even though we have nothing in common.

ii has been my friend for roughly two and a half years. She's brilliant, absolutely brilliant (though I top her, very slightly 8D) and the two of us work amazingly together. ii is always busy and does a certain sport all the time, though. It's her that drags my exhausted semi-corpse through science each day, yet somehow I'm still racing her for top spot. And we're not even stepping all over each other along the way. She never has a mean word to say.

iii and I have known each other for roughly a year and a half. She's like me--only, with no inhibitions and not with my obsession with being an overachiever. Really we're the same person only she doesn't care nearly as much what people think of her and has a ton of fun along the way. I'm jealous of her, really.

iv and I met on the very first day of kindergarten and hit it off, even if he did try to stalk me and maintained for a year that he was going to marry me (He finally got over me by June, then we started first grade and he met i. Same thing happened. Cycle much?) He's funny and carefree and the kind that's everyone's friend. He also gives epic hugs, even if people think that we're dating every time I hug him. This pisses me off to no end, because i, ii, and iii do not like my hugs nor does my family and thus all of my hugs must come from him and uncle/cousins who don't mind hugs.

. . . I was going to write about something else, but I forgot it. Oh well.

--Ave

OHLOOKIT'SNEWYEAR'S

Exactly that. Bye bye 2010, I loved you. D: *huggles year*

And hello, 2011. Wait while I get used to writing /11 on all my papers, okay? Because we all know it'll be February and I'll be writing /10. We all will.

So. Published Incendia. Which you should read. So I'll just leave you this link . . .

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6611676/1

Don't look at me like that. It's almost two-thirty and I don't feel like messing around with HTML.

--Ave, wishing you a Happy New Year and all that jazz