August 23, 2010
Brief synopsis: Got contacts, had a mental breakdown, slept for fourteen hours, hate my family, pissed off Des and most likely killed her dreams, and hate myself for it.
1) Got contacts
They're okay. Annoying to put in, and I've been being lazy and not wearing them these past two days. Tomorrow I have to go back to the eye doctor and talk to them about it. And bother putting the stupid things in.
2) Had a Mental Breakdown
That one's pretty much self-explanatory. Yesterday I basically had a full out meltdown in which I screamed a lot, fought with my mother, found out my dog becomes concerned for my well being when she hears me scream, and kicked over the pile of clothing I spent three hours folding the other day, so now I have to fix that eventually.
3) Slept for Fourteen Hours
After aforementioned mental breakdown, I fell asleep and slept from eight pm until ten am, and I still feel exhausted, and downright sick. Just really, really crappy. So then I woke up and was in a stupor, and then kinda just collapsed on the couch with my computer. Haven't gotten off yet, although I think I will soon.
4) Adopted a New Plot Bunny
So, once I woke up not so many people were online, but there were a few after a while, and I ended up adopting a plot bunny, courtesy of Musa (Musafreen) and Juliet (HallowedHallsofWriting). Hopefully this won't take me forever to write. *hopes* But since I'm trying to get my word count up, it can't hurt.
Also there's my other new plot bunny, for a dark!fic. Which involves Zane and Darren, two lovely OCs of mine. So if I blab on about them, you now know who they are. Feel special.
5) Haven't Talked to Thorn in a While
Not much to elaborate on there. I haven't talked to her in a while, about anything. And I feel too tired right now to even care.
6) Story Update
Bit of good news shoved in here. Finished one oneshot, finally, after round four of editing. The other needs to be added to still, and so I'll do that whenever, I guess. The one about Zane and Darren is still only about 300 words long, but I know where it's going and it shouldn't be too hard to finish. Then the new plot bunny has to be developed and worked on, although it won't be very long, and then I am attempting the "In the Garden" challenge on the forums, where you take a character and have them visit someplace from their childhood, a place that they loved, to discover it means nothing anymore. This has to be done by the first of September, though, so I'm screwed on that account. *shrugs*
7) Hate My Family
Not much to elaborate upon there, either. Although I've noticed recently that I despise having a sister more than ever. Also, my mother is prone to blaming each and every problem I have on lack of sleep. Sleep is too time-consuming anyways. *rolls eyes*
8) Pissed Off Des
Once more I have said stupid stupid things. *smacks self again* And now Des is pissed at me because I told her that one of her. . .well, not exactly a dream, but something she really wants to happen, is most likely not going to happen. This proves that I am an idiot who needs to learn to shut up, although I now have no idea how to approach her.
9) I Swear Too Much
This is a revelation that came to me the other day as I attempted to put my contacts in. I swear way too much, and sometime I am going to end up accidently swearing in front of a teacher or whatever, and then get myself basically killed by the principal and the teachers and my parents, etc., for swearing. Considering someone I know recently got suspended for swearing at a teacher, I don't know how bad the consequences would be for swearing in front of them, but it'd most likely be bad. So, my new non-swearing rule came into play, except for in writing. Watch it crash and burn within a week...
10) Ave Debated Leaving, Albeit Briefly
In the aftermath of last night's mental breakdown I briefly considered leaving forums and Skype and the like for a week or two to get my head on straight before I go back to school and accidently have an inconveniently timed mental breakdown (these have lately become common) in the middle of math class or something. I then realized that being on my computer is the one thing that makes me happy, and since I despise my family, I'd only be making myself miserable by not going on. So I have resolved to get more sleep, because my mother always blames my meltdowns on lack of sleep anyways, and there's a slight chance she may be right...*is hypocrite*
11) Very, Very Behind on Everything
I have a whole load of writing to catch up on. Along with sleep. So, I figure, I'll take to just writing in notebooks more, because I never bother writing when I'm just staring at my computer anywyas. There's too many other things I could be doing for that to hold my attention long.
'
12) MOCKINGJAY
*is fangirl* The conclusion to the epic Hunger Games trilogy comes out tomorrow. YAY! *throws party* If only I was genuinely happy. Which bring us to...
13) Depression
Lately, I have been feeling depressed. Most likely due to all of the above, if you suffered through reading all that. If you did, I apologize profusely.
And now, I think I'll go to sleep again. Believe it or not, I am freaking exhausted. Even if it is only a bit past 5:30 and I've only been up for a little over seven hours.
--Ave, confused, mad at herself, mad at her family, confused, tired, waiting for Mockingjay, and still having a load of crap to get done
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