August 29th, 2010
Just after twelve pm.
On a Sunday. *has been watching too much It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia with her brother yet still knows nothing about the show*
---------------------
Actually the title should be something more like, "Evasive Maneuver XXXXVII is Now in Play". Because I avoid a lot of people/things. But this is the first documented EM (evasive maneuver), and so it gets to be EM I.
In this case I am attempting to avoid a person. Key word attempting. Whether this shall end up being a miserable fail or not, I have no idea. But hopefully burying myself in one shots and writing and editing and planning will help.
Which brings me to the problem of mother dearest, who insists that I am now only allowed on the computer for two hours every day. This is complete and total crap, and I know it will not work because she's not there policing me every five minutes, but that doesn't mean it isn't annoying.
She is, as much as it pains me to say it, the slightest bit correct, however. I can sit here for three hours and get nothing done. That has to change. I need to start accomplishing something. In less time. Because I'm getting all I need to get done done, but I'm doing it in six hours when I could do it in one if I put my mind to it.
Also, as of yesterday I have established for myself NaNo planning days, which shall be Thursday and Wednesday, although I may change Wednesday to a different day, possibly Monday. Since I don't seem to be finishing all my projects in time to spend the proper amount of time planning, I figured I'll put aside two days a week for that and with any luck I will be semi-prepared for NaNo come November. *hopes*
I also finished a oneshot yesterday. I don't really like it and it does not make a lot of sense right now, but with any luck it can still be salvaged. Zane and Darren are . . . kind of improving, so that's decent, at least. The fic I started using Juliet and Musa's idea is also going extremely well and is quite enjoyable to write. Even if it kind of strays from topic a lot. And then there's the other one I have been attempting to finish for nearly two months now. And that's actually all of them. *shock*
Of course, I also have to work on Reaped chapter two. That's kind of a story I neglect a lot and also one that very often slips my mind. I just don't think about it, and so I don't work on it. It's almost never on my mind. Nevertheless, eventually I will finish chapter two. Eventually.
Lately I've been getting this feeling that my editing system could use a revamp. Which it most definitely could. The thing is, this is the new editing system I adopted less than three weeks ago. And while it is working, it also involves me printing out a story in double spaced eleven point font after every round of editing, a method that wastes both paper and ink. But it works. And it makes editing so much easier. But it's wasteful . . . Productivity is expensive. *nods* So . . . Maybe I'll just attempt printing less things out. Hopefully. *crosses fingers* 'Cause otherwise I have to think of another method that works, and I'm still debating if one even exists.
I just really, really wish I could get all of this stuff done and out of the way. *aggravated sigh*
--Ave, with a load of crap she has to get done before the month is through
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Ave's Trip From Hell
August 28th, 2010
So.
Every year, near the end of August, my mother and siblings and I go on a trip. Just a small one, mind you, overnight in a nearby place. This year, I wasn't planning on going. Honestly, I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay home and work on my writing and be lazy and Skype and forum and watch my three hundred recordings that are piling up on my DVR. Basically, I wanted to do what I've been doing all summer.
Then they said they were taking the computer with them.
And no matter how much I said I wouldn't spend all day on the computer, my mother insisted that either way the laptop was going with her. Now, she's said this before. Before it hasn't worked, simply because she's forgotten about it before going. But before she also was not going away for three days. And while I could have done okay not going on for a full day and a half, I knew this would drive me insane. So I said I'd go.
I did not want to. Basically I went simply because the computer was going, and there was supposed to be Internet, so I could at least attempt to squeeze in time to talk to everyone in the hour or so I'd get.
We were supposed to leave on Wednesday. Come Tuesday night I have not packed, have not washed my hair, and have not done anything. The next day this still rang true at around noontime. In truth, I didn't start doing anything until an hour before we were supposed to leave.
Because I did not want to go.
Two hours after we were supposed to leave we had all miraculously thrown together everything, I had showered, packed, and forced my contacts in, and we were good to go. I huggled my dogs and told them to drive my brother insane and make sure they got their usual amount of attention and then some. And then crawled into the last row of seats in the car and hoped I wouldn't be too miserable.
I was.
Now, mother dearest has very recently gotten a new car. This car has seats that are extremely uncomfortable and make your butt hurt like hell. I don't know who the idiot was who designed them, but whoever they are, they are insane. We've been driving for three minutes when we stop to get gas. At this point I still know where we are and debate grabbing my backpack and the laptop and running like hell until I got home. I probably could have made it, except the back windows don't go down. The windows in the middle row do, but not the very back windows. Cue my despair. Although I could have broken the window, that would have been bad.
So then I debated forcing my way into the middle row and jumping through that window. This would have worked, most likely, if I had the ability to force my gigantic backpack through the window. However, since I did not want my mother to kill me, I refrained from this.
Two minutes later my judgement had a relapse. By that point we had left the gas station and were on the road it's on, a fairly busy one. Here I once more debate escaping and wonder if I could stop myself from rolling soon enough so that I do not get hit by a semi. Once more I hold myself back and attempt to get comfortable in the world's worst car seats.
By the time I hear we've been travelling for seven miles--yes, seven whole miles--I feel sick. This has been happening on and off for the past week or so. I have a headache, my stomach feels nauseous and the uncomfortable seats are killing both my back and my rear end. That seat gets an A+ in multitasking. My misery continues and for some reason the scent of pickles briefly fills the air. This did not in any way help the nausea.
Let's fast forward about an hour, because all that happens in those sixty minutes or so is me feeling sick and being miserable. Anyways, by then my mind is, for some reason I can not explain, hell bent on wanting tomato soup. I do not understand the reason for this. Then it decides it wants grilled cheese, immediately making the connection between the two. Not even regular grilled cheese, like the kind I could easily make at home. The uber-greasy, semi-salty kind they give in my school lunches. And there's no way I could possibly get this grilled cheese for at least a month. So my mind needs to learn to shut up, which it did. By going back to tomato soup obsession.
Somewhere along the way this subsides, although I do not stop feeling miserable. Watch me wallow in my self-pity. *wallows* By the time we finally get there, it's late. And dark. And I have not gotten my tomato soup, nor is there any sign that I may get it anytime soon. This so does not show me in a positive light. Either way . . . My blog, my rants. *shrugs* *continues*
As soon as we get into the room I yank out the laptop and hook up to the hotel's network. By now it's around eleven pm, give or take, and so I'm already tired. I only spend about half an hour, maybe a bit more, online *is proud of self* and then get off and give it to someone else. Against my will.
If there's one thing that seems a common trait in my family it's the inability to share a bed with someone and not kick them. So when I have the option of taking the sofa bed and getting it to myself, I take it. The others never seem to remember the misery. Having the sofa bed, while it means sleeping in the hotel equivalent of the living room, also means there's no one else in there with me, a happy thing. I unpack my overstuffed backpack, make my bed, and write for half an hour or so. All I can remember is by the time I go to bed, it's past midnight and I'm tired from staying up reading Mockingjay the night before.
The next morning dawns bright and early. In other words, I despise it. Because the way hotel curtains work, you have to close them at night or everyone can see you, but when you open them in the morning it burns your eyes. This is how my mother constantly chooses to wake me up. It's around nine am by now, and they choose to drag me to breakfast. Which was nice, I must say, but I'm dead on my feet by that point.
When we get back, I collapse on my lovely sofa bed. It's quite comfortable. In other words, I waste an hour lying there wishing I could sleep. And then not. Right after that, my mother tells me we're going places so I have to get up. So I ask her if I can stay behind. She says no. I beg. She continues saying no. I fight with my sister some more, when she says, "Why'd you even come if you didn't want to go _______?" And then some other snide comments followed that. I yelled due to the latter. Also, she never resists the chance to make a jibe about my computer obsession. All I say is: she's worse. Much worse.
So they drag me places. I spend yet another day being miserable and making a deal about it. This, however, given my track record, was extremely predictable. And they could easily have figured out from the beginning that bring me, especially forcing me to go, will mean I will be miserable and thus make them miserable. Letting me stay will make me happy, and they will be left alone. Simple as that.
By the time we get in that night, I'm exhausted. And go on the computer again. Have a bunch of rushed Skype conversations, a lot of rushed forum conversations, and rapid!beta something. Then I have to, once more, give someone else the computer. *sighs* After forty minutes. This is annoying me intensely at this point. So then I read some more and write bit. And fall asleep again.
The next morning I'm not as tired, not as whiny, and in better shape. My mom was supposed to wake me up early so I could beta something for Des. She fails at this, accidentally, even though she was awake in time. I despair, and am in a rush. Once more I manage to get that done, after breakfast, and then pack up all of my crap in the space of five minutes. They drag me one more place, one I don't mind, and then I have to climb back in the horrible car again. More misery this time, only I manage to sleep and it's not too bad. Somehow we don't even get home until eight, and then I promptly get mauled by dogs who missed me. And grab my laptop. *happy!sigh*
Overall, I spent 48 hours in pure misery simply so I didn't have to leave my laptop. Do I regret it? Kinda. Because I would have hopefully written lots in my notebook if I was home with no internet. However, either way, I believe I most likely would have been miserable.
--Ave, happy to be home
So.
Every year, near the end of August, my mother and siblings and I go on a trip. Just a small one, mind you, overnight in a nearby place. This year, I wasn't planning on going. Honestly, I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay home and work on my writing and be lazy and Skype and forum and watch my three hundred recordings that are piling up on my DVR. Basically, I wanted to do what I've been doing all summer.
Then they said they were taking the computer with them.
And no matter how much I said I wouldn't spend all day on the computer, my mother insisted that either way the laptop was going with her. Now, she's said this before. Before it hasn't worked, simply because she's forgotten about it before going. But before she also was not going away for three days. And while I could have done okay not going on for a full day and a half, I knew this would drive me insane. So I said I'd go.
I did not want to. Basically I went simply because the computer was going, and there was supposed to be Internet, so I could at least attempt to squeeze in time to talk to everyone in the hour or so I'd get.
We were supposed to leave on Wednesday. Come Tuesday night I have not packed, have not washed my hair, and have not done anything. The next day this still rang true at around noontime. In truth, I didn't start doing anything until an hour before we were supposed to leave.
Because I did not want to go.
Two hours after we were supposed to leave we had all miraculously thrown together everything, I had showered, packed, and forced my contacts in, and we were good to go. I huggled my dogs and told them to drive my brother insane and make sure they got their usual amount of attention and then some. And then crawled into the last row of seats in the car and hoped I wouldn't be too miserable.
I was.
Now, mother dearest has very recently gotten a new car. This car has seats that are extremely uncomfortable and make your butt hurt like hell. I don't know who the idiot was who designed them, but whoever they are, they are insane. We've been driving for three minutes when we stop to get gas. At this point I still know where we are and debate grabbing my backpack and the laptop and running like hell until I got home. I probably could have made it, except the back windows don't go down. The windows in the middle row do, but not the very back windows. Cue my despair. Although I could have broken the window, that would have been bad.
So then I debated forcing my way into the middle row and jumping through that window. This would have worked, most likely, if I had the ability to force my gigantic backpack through the window. However, since I did not want my mother to kill me, I refrained from this.
Two minutes later my judgement had a relapse. By that point we had left the gas station and were on the road it's on, a fairly busy one. Here I once more debate escaping and wonder if I could stop myself from rolling soon enough so that I do not get hit by a semi. Once more I hold myself back and attempt to get comfortable in the world's worst car seats.
By the time I hear we've been travelling for seven miles--yes, seven whole miles--I feel sick. This has been happening on and off for the past week or so. I have a headache, my stomach feels nauseous and the uncomfortable seats are killing both my back and my rear end. That seat gets an A+ in multitasking. My misery continues and for some reason the scent of pickles briefly fills the air. This did not in any way help the nausea.
Let's fast forward about an hour, because all that happens in those sixty minutes or so is me feeling sick and being miserable. Anyways, by then my mind is, for some reason I can not explain, hell bent on wanting tomato soup. I do not understand the reason for this. Then it decides it wants grilled cheese, immediately making the connection between the two. Not even regular grilled cheese, like the kind I could easily make at home. The uber-greasy, semi-salty kind they give in my school lunches. And there's no way I could possibly get this grilled cheese for at least a month. So my mind needs to learn to shut up, which it did. By going back to tomato soup obsession.
Somewhere along the way this subsides, although I do not stop feeling miserable. Watch me wallow in my self-pity. *wallows* By the time we finally get there, it's late. And dark. And I have not gotten my tomato soup, nor is there any sign that I may get it anytime soon. This so does not show me in a positive light. Either way . . . My blog, my rants. *shrugs* *continues*
As soon as we get into the room I yank out the laptop and hook up to the hotel's network. By now it's around eleven pm, give or take, and so I'm already tired. I only spend about half an hour, maybe a bit more, online *is proud of self* and then get off and give it to someone else. Against my will.
If there's one thing that seems a common trait in my family it's the inability to share a bed with someone and not kick them. So when I have the option of taking the sofa bed and getting it to myself, I take it. The others never seem to remember the misery. Having the sofa bed, while it means sleeping in the hotel equivalent of the living room, also means there's no one else in there with me, a happy thing. I unpack my overstuffed backpack, make my bed, and write for half an hour or so. All I can remember is by the time I go to bed, it's past midnight and I'm tired from staying up reading Mockingjay the night before.
The next morning dawns bright and early. In other words, I despise it. Because the way hotel curtains work, you have to close them at night or everyone can see you, but when you open them in the morning it burns your eyes. This is how my mother constantly chooses to wake me up. It's around nine am by now, and they choose to drag me to breakfast. Which was nice, I must say, but I'm dead on my feet by that point.
When we get back, I collapse on my lovely sofa bed. It's quite comfortable. In other words, I waste an hour lying there wishing I could sleep. And then not. Right after that, my mother tells me we're going places so I have to get up. So I ask her if I can stay behind. She says no. I beg. She continues saying no. I fight with my sister some more, when she says, "Why'd you even come if you didn't want to go _______?" And then some other snide comments followed that. I yelled due to the latter. Also, she never resists the chance to make a jibe about my computer obsession. All I say is: she's worse. Much worse.
So they drag me places. I spend yet another day being miserable and making a deal about it. This, however, given my track record, was extremely predictable. And they could easily have figured out from the beginning that bring me, especially forcing me to go, will mean I will be miserable and thus make them miserable. Letting me stay will make me happy, and they will be left alone. Simple as that.
By the time we get in that night, I'm exhausted. And go on the computer again. Have a bunch of rushed Skype conversations, a lot of rushed forum conversations, and rapid!beta something. Then I have to, once more, give someone else the computer. *sighs* After forty minutes. This is annoying me intensely at this point. So then I read some more and write bit. And fall asleep again.
The next morning I'm not as tired, not as whiny, and in better shape. My mom was supposed to wake me up early so I could beta something for Des. She fails at this, accidentally, even though she was awake in time. I despair, and am in a rush. Once more I manage to get that done, after breakfast, and then pack up all of my crap in the space of five minutes. They drag me one more place, one I don't mind, and then I have to climb back in the horrible car again. More misery this time, only I manage to sleep and it's not too bad. Somehow we don't even get home until eight, and then I promptly get mauled by dogs who missed me. And grab my laptop. *happy!sigh*
Overall, I spent 48 hours in pure misery simply so I didn't have to leave my laptop. Do I regret it? Kinda. Because I would have hopefully written lots in my notebook if I was home with no internet. However, either way, I believe I most likely would have been miserable.
--Ave, happy to be home
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Ave is No Longer Fearing Loss of Her Sanity, You May All Now Throw a Party and Rejoice
August 24th, 2010
So, yesterday sucked, today was good but nothing happened. *shrugs*
Although now I am beginning to fear that I am sick. Because last night I fell asleep at 5:30 and slept for fifteen hours. This is not natural. At all. It's just freaking strange. And what sucks even more is that I am still tired, although not as bad as yesterday. And now I have become increasingly hungry--as in, I'll be hungry an hour or so after I eat breakfast, and then I'm still hungry an hour or so after eating that. Maybe I'm going through a growth spurt...*wonders*
On a better note...
MOCKINGJAY CAME OUT TODAY! *throws streamers* *happy dances* And my mother got me a copy, one which she has just returned home and given to me. According to my siblings, the smile on my face was very much creepy and one they did not like seeing.
Either way, I shall now spend the rest of today reveling in the glory of Mockingjay and maybe writing a smidge. :)
--Ave, increasingly happy
So, yesterday sucked, today was good but nothing happened. *shrugs*
Although now I am beginning to fear that I am sick. Because last night I fell asleep at 5:30 and slept for fifteen hours. This is not natural. At all. It's just freaking strange. And what sucks even more is that I am still tired, although not as bad as yesterday. And now I have become increasingly hungry--as in, I'll be hungry an hour or so after I eat breakfast, and then I'm still hungry an hour or so after eating that. Maybe I'm going through a growth spurt...*wonders*
On a better note...
MOCKINGJAY CAME OUT TODAY! *throws streamers* *happy dances* And my mother got me a copy, one which she has just returned home and given to me. According to my siblings, the smile on my face was very much creepy and one they did not like seeing.
Either way, I shall now spend the rest of today reveling in the glory of Mockingjay and maybe writing a smidge. :)
--Ave, increasingly happy
Monday, August 23, 2010
*smacks self* *smacks self again* The Internet is Slowly Driving Me Insane *sighs* *smacks self again*
August 23, 2010
Brief synopsis: Got contacts, had a mental breakdown, slept for fourteen hours, hate my family, pissed off Des and most likely killed her dreams, and hate myself for it.
1) Got contacts
They're okay. Annoying to put in, and I've been being lazy and not wearing them these past two days. Tomorrow I have to go back to the eye doctor and talk to them about it. And bother putting the stupid things in.
2) Had a Mental Breakdown
That one's pretty much self-explanatory. Yesterday I basically had a full out meltdown in which I screamed a lot, fought with my mother, found out my dog becomes concerned for my well being when she hears me scream, and kicked over the pile of clothing I spent three hours folding the other day, so now I have to fix that eventually.
3) Slept for Fourteen Hours
After aforementioned mental breakdown, I fell asleep and slept from eight pm until ten am, and I still feel exhausted, and downright sick. Just really, really crappy. So then I woke up and was in a stupor, and then kinda just collapsed on the couch with my computer. Haven't gotten off yet, although I think I will soon.
4) Adopted a New Plot Bunny
So, once I woke up not so many people were online, but there were a few after a while, and I ended up adopting a plot bunny, courtesy of Musa (Musafreen) and Juliet (HallowedHallsofWriting). Hopefully this won't take me forever to write. *hopes* But since I'm trying to get my word count up, it can't hurt.
Also there's my other new plot bunny, for a dark!fic. Which involves Zane and Darren, two lovely OCs of mine. So if I blab on about them, you now know who they are. Feel special.
5) Haven't Talked to Thorn in a While
Not much to elaborate on there. I haven't talked to her in a while, about anything. And I feel too tired right now to even care.
6) Story Update
Bit of good news shoved in here. Finished one oneshot, finally, after round four of editing. The other needs to be added to still, and so I'll do that whenever, I guess. The one about Zane and Darren is still only about 300 words long, but I know where it's going and it shouldn't be too hard to finish. Then the new plot bunny has to be developed and worked on, although it won't be very long, and then I am attempting the "In the Garden" challenge on the forums, where you take a character and have them visit someplace from their childhood, a place that they loved, to discover it means nothing anymore. This has to be done by the first of September, though, so I'm screwed on that account. *shrugs*
7) Hate My Family
Not much to elaborate upon there, either. Although I've noticed recently that I despise having a sister more than ever. Also, my mother is prone to blaming each and every problem I have on lack of sleep. Sleep is too time-consuming anyways. *rolls eyes*
8) Pissed Off Des
Once more I have said stupid stupid things. *smacks self again* And now Des is pissed at me because I told her that one of her. . .well, not exactly a dream, but something she really wants to happen, is most likely not going to happen. This proves that I am an idiot who needs to learn to shut up, although I now have no idea how to approach her.
9) I Swear Too Much
This is a revelation that came to me the other day as I attempted to put my contacts in. I swear way too much, and sometime I am going to end up accidently swearing in front of a teacher or whatever, and then get myself basically killed by the principal and the teachers and my parents, etc., for swearing. Considering someone I know recently got suspended for swearing at a teacher, I don't know how bad the consequences would be for swearing in front of them, but it'd most likely be bad. So, my new non-swearing rule came into play, except for in writing. Watch it crash and burn within a week...
10) Ave Debated Leaving, Albeit Briefly
In the aftermath of last night's mental breakdown I briefly considered leaving forums and Skype and the like for a week or two to get my head on straight before I go back to school and accidently have an inconveniently timed mental breakdown (these have lately become common) in the middle of math class or something. I then realized that being on my computer is the one thing that makes me happy, and since I despise my family, I'd only be making myself miserable by not going on. So I have resolved to get more sleep, because my mother always blames my meltdowns on lack of sleep anyways, and there's a slight chance she may be right...*is hypocrite*
11) Very, Very Behind on Everything
I have a whole load of writing to catch up on. Along with sleep. So, I figure, I'll take to just writing in notebooks more, because I never bother writing when I'm just staring at my computer anywyas. There's too many other things I could be doing for that to hold my attention long.
'
12) MOCKINGJAY
*is fangirl* The conclusion to the epic Hunger Games trilogy comes out tomorrow. YAY! *throws party* If only I was genuinely happy. Which bring us to...
13) Depression
Lately, I have been feeling depressed. Most likely due to all of the above, if you suffered through reading all that. If you did, I apologize profusely.
And now, I think I'll go to sleep again. Believe it or not, I am freaking exhausted. Even if it is only a bit past 5:30 and I've only been up for a little over seven hours.
--Ave, confused, mad at herself, mad at her family, confused, tired, waiting for Mockingjay, and still having a load of crap to get done
Brief synopsis: Got contacts, had a mental breakdown, slept for fourteen hours, hate my family, pissed off Des and most likely killed her dreams, and hate myself for it.
1) Got contacts
They're okay. Annoying to put in, and I've been being lazy and not wearing them these past two days. Tomorrow I have to go back to the eye doctor and talk to them about it. And bother putting the stupid things in.
2) Had a Mental Breakdown
That one's pretty much self-explanatory. Yesterday I basically had a full out meltdown in which I screamed a lot, fought with my mother, found out my dog becomes concerned for my well being when she hears me scream, and kicked over the pile of clothing I spent three hours folding the other day, so now I have to fix that eventually.
3) Slept for Fourteen Hours
After aforementioned mental breakdown, I fell asleep and slept from eight pm until ten am, and I still feel exhausted, and downright sick. Just really, really crappy. So then I woke up and was in a stupor, and then kinda just collapsed on the couch with my computer. Haven't gotten off yet, although I think I will soon.
4) Adopted a New Plot Bunny
So, once I woke up not so many people were online, but there were a few after a while, and I ended up adopting a plot bunny, courtesy of Musa (Musafreen) and Juliet (HallowedHallsofWriting). Hopefully this won't take me forever to write. *hopes* But since I'm trying to get my word count up, it can't hurt.
Also there's my other new plot bunny, for a dark!fic. Which involves Zane and Darren, two lovely OCs of mine. So if I blab on about them, you now know who they are. Feel special.
5) Haven't Talked to Thorn in a While
Not much to elaborate on there. I haven't talked to her in a while, about anything. And I feel too tired right now to even care.
6) Story Update
Bit of good news shoved in here. Finished one oneshot, finally, after round four of editing. The other needs to be added to still, and so I'll do that whenever, I guess. The one about Zane and Darren is still only about 300 words long, but I know where it's going and it shouldn't be too hard to finish. Then the new plot bunny has to be developed and worked on, although it won't be very long, and then I am attempting the "In the Garden" challenge on the forums, where you take a character and have them visit someplace from their childhood, a place that they loved, to discover it means nothing anymore. This has to be done by the first of September, though, so I'm screwed on that account. *shrugs*
7) Hate My Family
Not much to elaborate upon there, either. Although I've noticed recently that I despise having a sister more than ever. Also, my mother is prone to blaming each and every problem I have on lack of sleep. Sleep is too time-consuming anyways. *rolls eyes*
8) Pissed Off Des
Once more I have said stupid stupid things. *smacks self again* And now Des is pissed at me because I told her that one of her. . .well, not exactly a dream, but something she really wants to happen, is most likely not going to happen. This proves that I am an idiot who needs to learn to shut up, although I now have no idea how to approach her.
9) I Swear Too Much
This is a revelation that came to me the other day as I attempted to put my contacts in. I swear way too much, and sometime I am going to end up accidently swearing in front of a teacher or whatever, and then get myself basically killed by the principal and the teachers and my parents, etc., for swearing. Considering someone I know recently got suspended for swearing at a teacher, I don't know how bad the consequences would be for swearing in front of them, but it'd most likely be bad. So, my new non-swearing rule came into play, except for in writing. Watch it crash and burn within a week...
10) Ave Debated Leaving, Albeit Briefly
In the aftermath of last night's mental breakdown I briefly considered leaving forums and Skype and the like for a week or two to get my head on straight before I go back to school and accidently have an inconveniently timed mental breakdown (these have lately become common) in the middle of math class or something. I then realized that being on my computer is the one thing that makes me happy, and since I despise my family, I'd only be making myself miserable by not going on. So I have resolved to get more sleep, because my mother always blames my meltdowns on lack of sleep anyways, and there's a slight chance she may be right...*is hypocrite*
11) Very, Very Behind on Everything
I have a whole load of writing to catch up on. Along with sleep. So, I figure, I'll take to just writing in notebooks more, because I never bother writing when I'm just staring at my computer anywyas. There's too many other things I could be doing for that to hold my attention long.
'
12) MOCKINGJAY
*is fangirl* The conclusion to the epic Hunger Games trilogy comes out tomorrow. YAY! *throws party* If only I was genuinely happy. Which bring us to...
13) Depression
Lately, I have been feeling depressed. Most likely due to all of the above, if you suffered through reading all that. If you did, I apologize profusely.
And now, I think I'll go to sleep again. Believe it or not, I am freaking exhausted. Even if it is only a bit past 5:30 and I've only been up for a little over seven hours.
--Ave, confused, mad at herself, mad at her family, confused, tired, waiting for Mockingjay, and still having a load of crap to get done
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Progress has occured!
August 19th, 2010
*is experimenting with Blogger's various options*
Ooh, this is fun...
Anyways, an update. Making good progress on both oneshots, although not on Reaped, and now I randomly wrote a fic today for the Ten Sentences challenge. So I'm just waiting for a few changes to be made, and then I shall publish that and print out the oneshots for another round of editing. Hopefully one of them will be ready after editing tonight, and then I can finish the other tomorrow night.
And then I'll force myself to finish chapter two of Reaped, and do some editing on that, and then have that out of the way in three days or so. And do a load of betaing tomorrow. But once Reaped is done, I can put all of my undivided attention on my new multi-chapter fic...*happiness*
--Ave, making progress
*is experimenting with Blogger's various options*
Ooh, this is fun...
Anyways, an update. Making good progress on both oneshots, although not on Reaped, and now I randomly wrote a fic today for the Ten Sentences challenge. So I'm just waiting for a few changes to be made, and then I shall publish that and print out the oneshots for another round of editing. Hopefully one of them will be ready after editing tonight, and then I can finish the other tomorrow night.
And then I'll force myself to finish chapter two of Reaped, and do some editing on that, and then have that out of the way in three days or so. And do a load of betaing tomorrow. But once Reaped is done, I can put all of my undivided attention on my new multi-chapter fic...*happiness*
--Ave, making progress
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Calming Down
It's been good, honestly.
Well, not exactly. My mom's been trying to make me spend less time on the computer, although she's not really succeeding yet. In fact, it's pretty much failing miserably.
Lately I've been tackling a million projects at once, including attempting to actually work on a multi-chapter story, along with finishing Vengeance Chapter Three, Reaped Chapter Two, and two other oneshots. And then NaNo...
Why I feel the need to blog about this, I do not know.
-Ave, briefly posting and then going off to tackle more things on her to-do list
Well, not exactly. My mom's been trying to make me spend less time on the computer, although she's not really succeeding yet. In fact, it's pretty much failing miserably.
Lately I've been tackling a million projects at once, including attempting to actually work on a multi-chapter story, along with finishing Vengeance Chapter Three, Reaped Chapter Two, and two other oneshots. And then NaNo...
Why I feel the need to blog about this, I do not know.
-Ave, briefly posting and then going off to tackle more things on her to-do list
Friday, August 13, 2010
The Little Snarky Voice in My Head Won't Shut Up
Is it really necessary to have a reason to be pissed at someone? Or can you just be really really annoyed at them for absolutely no reason at all, through no fault of theirs?
'Cause the little snarky voice in the back of my head, usually a helpful commrade, has made me start doubting things about people. And not wanting to talk to them. And ignore them, and overall just want to throttle them, which is why it is good that I can't meet them in real life.
My brain is a really screwed up place. Anyways...
I hate people. And family members. And those who won't just shut up. I'll deal properly with the freaking voice if everyone would just shut up. Especially those idiots who decide that they'll stay up until four am and then tell on me for doing the same.
Tonight's schedule: Edit oneshot. Finish drabble. Plan new story. Rant to Des. Start other oneshot. Don't procrastinate. Like that'll ever happen. *scorns*
-Ave, confused at her own mind and the convoluted issues it has
'Cause the little snarky voice in the back of my head, usually a helpful commrade, has made me start doubting things about people. And not wanting to talk to them. And ignore them, and overall just want to throttle them, which is why it is good that I can't meet them in real life.
My brain is a really screwed up place. Anyways...
I hate people. And family members. And those who won't just shut up. I'll deal properly with the freaking voice if everyone would just shut up. Especially those idiots who decide that they'll stay up until four am and then tell on me for doing the same.
Tonight's schedule: Edit oneshot. Finish drabble. Plan new story. Rant to Des. Start other oneshot. Don't procrastinate. Like that'll ever happen. *scorns*
-Ave, confused at her own mind and the convoluted issues it has
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
A Continuation, On a Very Opposite Note
Some very opposite things to consider, all put into a handy dandy list...
Firstly, I have taken to ranting to Des. Daily. This is actually quite enjoyable, and helpful. In fact, I think I spend more time ranting and talking to Des then I do speaking to about anyone else, although I like talking to her. Lots.
On another kinda related subject, I have not really talked to Thorn in quite a while. This makes me ponder about a large number of things. Among those is the fact that I think Vengeance needs to be revamped, and I have to talk to a lot of people concerning many things. Many of which I end up speaking about, once more, with Desmia.
Jumping to another topic, I finally started my Hunger Games fic, which is a series of drabbles. Two days later I began feeling that "I don't wanna write but I should update!" prodding sensation in the back of my head. However, considering every reviewer is someone I know, oh well. There aren't so many eager people waiting desperately for chapter two.
Also, another of my many half started oneshots is being tackled now, and hopefully I'll have that one out of my hair by the end of the week. Since it requires gigantic amounts of editing, however, I doubt this shall happen.
Another less started oneshot has been abandoned, probably until next week.
And then I have to do lots of things for my mother. Because I need my own computer. Or else I will fail NaNo. Hell, I'll probably fail NaNo anyways. Ooh, new thing to add to the list.
Plan for NaNo. This has to be started on soon. So I figure I get those two oneshots out of my way, delay Vengeance for a few weeks, and plan for NaNo after that. And shove in the drabble things for my HG fic whenever.
And, overall, get out of my writing slump. Because lately everything I write has been declining in quality. *sadness*
Finally, I think we have reached the end of the listing of the major things that should be on this list. *waves good night/morning, since it's twelve thirty-five*
-Ave, off to sleep. Hopefully. Or just talk to Des more.
Firstly, I have taken to ranting to Des. Daily. This is actually quite enjoyable, and helpful. In fact, I think I spend more time ranting and talking to Des then I do speaking to about anyone else, although I like talking to her. Lots.
On another kinda related subject, I have not really talked to Thorn in quite a while. This makes me ponder about a large number of things. Among those is the fact that I think Vengeance needs to be revamped, and I have to talk to a lot of people concerning many things. Many of which I end up speaking about, once more, with Desmia.
Jumping to another topic, I finally started my Hunger Games fic, which is a series of drabbles. Two days later I began feeling that "I don't wanna write but I should update!" prodding sensation in the back of my head. However, considering every reviewer is someone I know, oh well. There aren't so many eager people waiting desperately for chapter two.
Also, another of my many half started oneshots is being tackled now, and hopefully I'll have that one out of my hair by the end of the week. Since it requires gigantic amounts of editing, however, I doubt this shall happen.
Another less started oneshot has been abandoned, probably until next week.
And then I have to do lots of things for my mother. Because I need my own computer. Or else I will fail NaNo. Hell, I'll probably fail NaNo anyways. Ooh, new thing to add to the list.
Plan for NaNo. This has to be started on soon. So I figure I get those two oneshots out of my way, delay Vengeance for a few weeks, and plan for NaNo after that. And shove in the drabble things for my HG fic whenever.
And, overall, get out of my writing slump. Because lately everything I write has been declining in quality. *sadness*
Finally, I think we have reached the end of the listing of the major things that should be on this list. *waves good night/morning, since it's twelve thirty-five*
-Ave, off to sleep. Hopefully. Or just talk to Des more.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Too Much All at Once
The past three days have sucked, basically.
See, it started out that Friday was pretty damn good, too good. Des and I had a minor fight, really over nothing, and I feel dumb for even partaking in it now instead of asking her what was wrong. Then later that day I published my second story, for The Hunger Games, and of course I felt the new story euphoria that usually follows...
So then it was Saturday, the suckiest of all days. Basically, everyone was fighting over stupid things and now Theia is saying that she's leaving. How true this is...Well, I very much doubt that she's leaving for real, but...*shrugs*
And then yesterday more people got pissy over a comment someone made. *headdesks* And now, finally things seem to be going kinda sorta back to normal. *is flooded with relief*
At the same time I realized that I really need to think before I go off saying stupid things. And so I figured, what is going to make me STFU, automatically, no matter what? I gave Des permission to threaten to tell everyone my gigantical secret if ever I'm acting completely out of line, although she said she wouldn't tell anyways, so this may not work. Actually, it probably won't work at all.
Looking at this I figure my other, very different news would look strange compiled into the same post as this, so...
-Ave, off to write a second post, hopefully before midnight
See, it started out that Friday was pretty damn good, too good. Des and I had a minor fight, really over nothing, and I feel dumb for even partaking in it now instead of asking her what was wrong. Then later that day I published my second story, for The Hunger Games, and of course I felt the new story euphoria that usually follows...
So then it was Saturday, the suckiest of all days. Basically, everyone was fighting over stupid things and now Theia is saying that she's leaving. How true this is...Well, I very much doubt that she's leaving for real, but...*shrugs*
And then yesterday more people got pissy over a comment someone made. *headdesks* And now, finally things seem to be going kinda sorta back to normal. *is flooded with relief*
At the same time I realized that I really need to think before I go off saying stupid things. And so I figured, what is going to make me STFU, automatically, no matter what? I gave Des permission to threaten to tell everyone my gigantical secret if ever I'm acting completely out of line, although she said she wouldn't tell anyways, so this may not work. Actually, it probably won't work at all.
Looking at this I figure my other, very different news would look strange compiled into the same post as this, so...
-Ave, off to write a second post, hopefully before midnight
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
An Attempt at Having A Life
Today, at the urging of my own conscience and my mother who is sure I have no non-computerized life, I'm dragging my cousin and her bestie (who's awesome) to the movies with me. And then we'll eat far too much popcorn and Milk Duds and maybe go see three movies for the price of one. *shrugs* You never know. It's fun to cheat the system...All the people at that movie theater hate us.
Oh yeah, and then we'll go back to her house and laugh at reality television and overdose on sugar again. Which is why we only go to the movies every few weeks.
-Ave, attempting to have a life without her computer or DVR
Oh yeah, and then we'll go back to her house and laugh at reality television and overdose on sugar again. Which is why we only go to the movies every few weeks.
-Ave, attempting to have a life without her computer or DVR
Sunday, August 1, 2010
AUGUST! *runs into corner and hides*
I just realized the most horrible thing in the entire world.
Today is Sunday, August first.
AUGUST.
Now, in earlier years I never really minded the transition from July into August, because I never go back to school until September anyways. But there was so much writing I wanted to get done this summer, and now my time is cut in half to get it all done. And if I can't complete it in six hours a day, how will I get it done in that same amount of time, only with homework and actually seeing my friends, and having to give half that time to my sister?
Also horrible: Most of my fanfiction friends go back to school in August. Which sucks. Because then I'll be alone all day. But maybe being alone will actually force me to do something? We can hope. Because otherwise my poor plot bunnies will just sit here for another nine months or so.
So I'm off to try and make the most out of this last month of solitude before school (although the next grade should be a fun one and I'm at the same school, so all I need is to hope that I get some of my buddies in my lunch period...) by running off with the Big Blue Notebook of Writing Stuff and writing all day. Wish me luck.
-Ave, trying to finally begin tackling her to-do list
Today is Sunday, August first.
AUGUST.
Now, in earlier years I never really minded the transition from July into August, because I never go back to school until September anyways. But there was so much writing I wanted to get done this summer, and now my time is cut in half to get it all done. And if I can't complete it in six hours a day, how will I get it done in that same amount of time, only with homework and actually seeing my friends, and having to give half that time to my sister?
Also horrible: Most of my fanfiction friends go back to school in August. Which sucks. Because then I'll be alone all day. But maybe being alone will actually force me to do something? We can hope. Because otherwise my poor plot bunnies will just sit here for another nine months or so.
So I'm off to try and make the most out of this last month of solitude before school (although the next grade should be a fun one and I'm at the same school, so all I need is to hope that I get some of my buddies in my lunch period...) by running off with the Big Blue Notebook of Writing Stuff and writing all day. Wish me luck.
-Ave, trying to finally begin tackling her to-do list
My Computer is a Piece of Crap
A computer is a very, very important tool in me maintaining the small amount of sanity allotted to those of us who write. Often, it seems, we are also those haunted by more computer problems than most anyone else, probably because we basically live on our laptops.
And mine is...*prods computer* I'm not gonna lie. It's a gigantic piece of crap.
Granted, the thing is three years old this December. And ever since the very day it was gifted to me (also known as Christmas '07) it has not wanted to charge. A true testament to its crapiness: It has gone through at least fifteen, probably twenty, adapters in the past two and a half years. Not only is this the world's biggest waste of cash--think about it, $15 per cord, 15-20 cords, that's around $300-$400--but this stupid thing cost $1500 in the first place, although we only paid $1100 due to a variety of sales and the like going on around Christmas.
The point is, right now the stupid thing is busy throwing a hissy fit and not charging at all. And because it seems the no one in my house remembers the last time this happened, or the time before that, or the time before that, etc., even when the thing stops charging they persist to carry it around and not plug it in regardless. So then the battery drains. And we plug it back in eventually, and then they're all saying, "Why isn't it charging?"
Which brings me to another point: There's no way we got, say, 17 malfunctioning adapters in a row, it just doesn't happen. One of them would have been normal and actually worked. So it's obviously a problem with the computer itself. But of course, we'll have to waste $1100 on adapters before we just get a new one. We've also tried buying a new battery, which is somewhere around here, fully charged. Where? No one knows. None of them. So, it's been lost, and no one knows where it could possibly be, not even the slightest inkling.
Currently the battery has drained itself entirely and is not charging at all. So if it comes unplugged at all, the computer turns off straight away and everything you were doing disappears. This problem being yet another reason I need my own computer. That and NaNo...But that's a rant for a later day.
Let's pray I don't kill anything over this, shall we?
-Ave, thoroughly annoyed at her computer and her father for purchasing said computer
And mine is...*prods computer* I'm not gonna lie. It's a gigantic piece of crap.
Granted, the thing is three years old this December. And ever since the very day it was gifted to me (also known as Christmas '07) it has not wanted to charge. A true testament to its crapiness: It has gone through at least fifteen, probably twenty, adapters in the past two and a half years. Not only is this the world's biggest waste of cash--think about it, $15 per cord, 15-20 cords, that's around $300-$400--but this stupid thing cost $1500 in the first place, although we only paid $1100 due to a variety of sales and the like going on around Christmas.
The point is, right now the stupid thing is busy throwing a hissy fit and not charging at all. And because it seems the no one in my house remembers the last time this happened, or the time before that, or the time before that, etc., even when the thing stops charging they persist to carry it around and not plug it in regardless. So then the battery drains. And we plug it back in eventually, and then they're all saying, "Why isn't it charging?"
Which brings me to another point: There's no way we got, say, 17 malfunctioning adapters in a row, it just doesn't happen. One of them would have been normal and actually worked. So it's obviously a problem with the computer itself. But of course, we'll have to waste $1100 on adapters before we just get a new one. We've also tried buying a new battery, which is somewhere around here, fully charged. Where? No one knows. None of them. So, it's been lost, and no one knows where it could possibly be, not even the slightest inkling.
Currently the battery has drained itself entirely and is not charging at all. So if it comes unplugged at all, the computer turns off straight away and everything you were doing disappears. This problem being yet another reason I need my own computer. That and NaNo...But that's a rant for a later day.
Let's pray I don't kill anything over this, shall we?
-Ave, thoroughly annoyed at her computer and her father for purchasing said computer
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)